Where's Johnny Jet? Sans Luggage in the South of France

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Bonjour from the south of France! I was here just a few short weeks ago, checking out the new Club Med Opio. But I was up in the hills and didn't make it down to Cannes. To me, Cannes epitomizes the south of France. Just the name Cannes screams excitement; The Cannes Film Festival, which every year opens its arms to thousands of celebrities, the gorgeous beaches full of topless models, the mega yachts and ritzy hotels ... you get the point. Ready to discover the high life and find out where to dine, stay, shop and play? Then grab your passport and your French phrasebook because we're on our way to Cannes.

Charles de Gaulle Airport

Last week when we left off, I was in the Charles de Gaulle airport after an easy, 10-hour flight from Los Angeles. I didn't sleep much on the plane but still, I felt good. Who wouldn't? I was headed to the South of France! Passport control was a breeze but getting from Terminal E to Terminal F wasn't. It was tedious and time consuming. I had to take another bus and go through another security checkpoint. Terminal 2F is sleek. Everything but the floor is glass so it lets in plenty of sunlight, which as you probably already know, is kryptonite for jetlag. Though I wasn't hungry, I still grabbed a 4.90 € ($6.70) jambon et fromage (ham and cheese) sandwich from one of the cafes in Terminal F. I don't know how the heck the French do it but their baguettes, even at the airport, are insanely delicious.

Paris to Cannes

My flight to Nice was on a packed 737 and the seats in coach were tight ... really tight. I even had to remove the in-flight magazines from the seat back in front of me to get a few more inches of legroom. Fortunately, flight time was just an hour and five minutes but the effects of my sleep deprivation kicked in as soon as I entered the dark cabin. Along with most of the other passengers, I passed out on taxi. I didn't wake up until the person in front of me reclined. That hurt. Instinctively and without opening my eyes, I did the same. That's when the French chick behind me tapped me on the shoulder and started yelling at me in French like a madwoman. I had no idea what the heck she was saying and for a minute there, I even forgot where I was. I slowly turned around, opened my eyes and saw she was pointing to some seven-foot basketball player who, I then remembered, everyone had been gawking at in the terminal. He was sitting behind her and didn't look too happy. I was too tired to reason or fight so I just put the seat back up and stared out the window.

Lost Luggage

Flying into the Cote D'Azur airport is a beautiful thing. The planes fly so low over the coastline that passengers are treated to a view of people frolicking in the amazingly blue water below. At baggage claim, I started to get the feeling that my luggage wasn't going to make it. The moment I didn't see any more bags filtering out onto the carousel, I made a beeline for the lost baggage office. Nobody wants to lose their bags but if you do, the only thing worse is waiting in a long, slow-moving queue to fill out your claim. The agent confirmed that my favorite Roots bag (similar to this) was still in Paris and assured me that it would be on the next flight out the following morning. Actually, two of six others in my group also lost their bags and we were all on different Air France flights. Not good! But in that department, Air France isn't alone this summer. Ever since the implementation of strict carry-on rules, many airlines are experiencing some of the worst lost-luggage percentages ever. According to the Association of European Airlines, an average of 10 passengers per flight lost their bags between April and June. British Airways was cited as the worst among Europe's major airlines and is on track to lose a record 1.3 million bags this year. Oh my!

Everyone who loses their bags on Air France gets a juiced-up, first-class amenity kit. It has a really comfortable SkyTeam T-shirt (I'm wearing it now as I type this), a cheap plastic brush, a toothbrush, a mini-deodorant and a single-use packet of laundry detergent. I suppose that's a not-so-subtle hint that you may not be seeing your clothes for a while ... so start washing! I think the agent was testing me, waiting to see what she could get away with because she didn't pony up the compensation information until I specifically asked. Turns out, I could spend up to 100 € to buy replacement stuff; I simply needed to keep the receipts and mail them in for reimbursement when I returned home. One hundred € is currently $136. That's pretty generous for a low-maintenance guy (like me) and if you get your luggage 12 hours later ... or if you're in, let's say, Omaha. But in Cannes, 100 € ain't going to buy you much.

Shop 'Til You ... Go Broke

After the 25-minute drive (with no traffic) to my hotel, which was right off Cannes' famous avenue La Croisette, I hit the stores with my friend Elina who was also a lost-luggage victim. By this point, it was 8pm and the stores were closed. But Elina was determined to find an outfit for dinner and dragged me with her. She ended up knocking on the only boutique shop with workers inside; Blanc Bleu. The staff was sympathetic to our plight and let us in for 15 minutes after hearing our story. Of course, Elina picked one of the most exclusive men's and women's designer clothing stores. The nautical theme was perfect ... until it was time to pay. My new, white linen shirt set me back 130 € ($177).

It wasn't until the next day that I discovered that Cannes actually has some reasonably priced shops along Rue d'Antibes, the main shopping street, especially when the summer sales are on -- which they were. I walked right past all the other high-end designer stores of which Cannes has NO shortage. I shopped at Celio and bought this blue shirt for 19 euro, then got some shoes and pants for 80 € from Max Mara. I won't bore you with the details of my other finds but I will tell you that I bought enough clothes that I actually needed another bag to bring them home in. I scored a rolling duffel bag for 17 € at Monoprix, France's version of Target. Monoprix is also a good place to stock up on bottled water ... it's just 1.20 €.

NOTE: Shops are closed on Sundays and the daily market is open until 1pm.

How Not to Lose Luggage

Those of us who had lost our luggage saw neither hide nor hair of it for two days. We had the head of the French tourism board calling on our behalf to find out what was going on. According to my friends, the worst part was dealing with the attitudes of the agents in Air France's lost luggage department. It seemed they couldn't have cared less about the inconvenience we'd been caused and one agent even said, "We have 2,000 bags misplaced and some people will never see theirs again." Not exactly the best thing to say to a customer, particularly not to one who is a travel writer. As I said earlier, I'm a low-maintenance guy, so it wasn't really a big deal to me. I figured I'd get my bag back eventually and if I didn't, I'd have fun finding replacements. I know -- all you women reading this ... your jaws just dropped, didn't they? Women are different. They pack all kinds of expensive clothes, makeup and whatever else it is that makes them spend over an hour in the bathroom getting ready to go out. Hopefully this little experience is a good lesson for all: Never put anything valuable (clothes, jewelry, electronics, medications, etc) into your checked luggage. Have the attitude that if your bag gets lost or stolen ... good riddance! It's also a good idea to keep a change of clothes in your carry-on, especially a suit for an important business meeting or a dress for that wedding you're going to. Obviously, the best way not to lose your luggage is not to check it. But traveling with carry-on alone is practically impossible these days, so when I can, I try to ship mine in advance using FedEx Ground service (but not overseas). If you are forced to check a bag, just be sure that when the agent tags it, the three-letter airport code to your destination is listed and that it's correct. Then say a Hail Mary.

Getting to Cannes from the Nice Airport

From the Nice Airport to Cannes, travelers can take a 50-minute bus ride for 14.20 € one-way or 23.20 € for a return fare. The buses operate every half hour except the first and last hours when they run hourly. Service begins at 7am and ends at 8pm. Besides a helicopter, the quickest travel option is a 65-€ taxi ride. It's an extra 10 € after 7pm and on Sundays.

Hotel 3-14

The moment I saw the outside of Hotel 3-14, I realized that I had stayed there 10 years ago when it used to be The Savoy. The four-star rated hotel is one block from the beach and adjacent to the world famous Carlton Hotel; I was able to pick up their wireless signal for free. The hotel's name comes from a reference to the mathematical sign Pi, 3.14. Here, it's interpreted as a travel invitation, like an ongoing traveling circle around the world. A bit abstract and out of the ordinary, I'd say. But then, nothing about this hotel is ordinary. Completely remodeled, Hotel 3-14's atmosphere is the opposite of the sophistication and conservative nature of The Savoy. My first impression was ... what the heck happened here? I felt like I was in a Miami Beach disco in the late '80s. The lobby has a tacky water fountain with colorful, fake birds and a bright blue, dressed up, pierced statue of a cow standing nearby. Behind the front desk were live birds, flying around a mirrored wall. Across the way, the concierge desk featured a spinning welcome light globe. The only thing missing was a DJ. Oh, there was a poolside DJ spinning techno music. The pool is located on the top floor and has faux rocks surrounding the potted palm trees. In the far corner is a hot tub with a killer view of the beach.

The hotel has 96 rooms, all with flat screen TVs and DVD players. Each floor is dedicated to the hotel's theme -- five floors, five continents. That's right. Each floor is themed by continent. So there's America, Oceania, Africa, Asia and Europe. I was on the second floor, themed Africa. My dark room did feel distinctly Moroccan, featuring purple walls, purple drapes and yes, purple bedding. It even had African-esque lamps and a camel ashtray. My favorite part of the room (besides the stale recycled welcome candies) was the bathroom. It was bright, clean and most importantly, everything worked. It also had two pairs (one girl's, one guy's) of Hotel 3-14 flip-flops to use at the pool and to take home with you. Hotel 3-14 is definitely for a younger generation. Who else could appreciate the in-room mini bar, stocked with kinky amenities like a love box filled with condoms, a pocket rocket, earplugs, lube and a variety of vibrators? Check, please!

The only relaxing parts of the hotel were the restaurants and the beach. Breakfast is included in the daily rate (which begins at 150 € a night) and is served on a quiet outdoor patio. They offer freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh fruit, eggs, bacon, cereal, pastries, an assortment of jellies and Nutella! The food tables were decorated with rose petals, which was a nice touch and the food and service were both excellent. At the La Plage 3-14 restaurant on the beach, the food and service were also enjoyable. A young American couple who I rode the bumping, flashing-strobe- light, techno elevator with, summed up my stay at Hotel 3-14. When I asked how they liked the hotel they simply said, "It's cool how creative it is, but it's a little much." I agree. It just didn't flow. Hotel 3-14, 5, rue François Einesy -- 06400 Cannes. Tél.: 00 33 (0)4 92 99 72 00.

Sofitel

I didn't stay at the 149-room Sofitel Cannes Le Méditerranée but I did have lunch in their Méditerranée restaurant. The hotel is located near the marina in a beautiful location. For lunch or dinner, reserve a table in the rotunda to enjoy the 180-degree views, which are, quite possibly, the best in the city. Lunch (42 euro) and dinner (72 euro) are three-course, prix-fixe meals. For starters, I had carrot cream soup. My appetizer was melon balls with prosciutto accompanied with a sweet-wine-infused cantaloupe soup. The main course option was either veal or vegetable risotto. The food was just okay but the view made up for it. So did the banana sorbet dessert, peach cobbler and profiteroles. Room rates begin at 160 €. Sofitel Cannes Le Méditerranée, 1 boulevard Jean Hibert, BP 162, 06407, Cannes; tel. (+33) 4/92997300.

Île Sainte-Marguerite

Across the street from the Sofitel is a marina where ferries leave for two of the most popular excursions in Cannes. One is a 10-minute, 11-€ boat ride to the island of Sainte Marguerite. Île Sainte-Marguerite is just a half-mile offshore but feels like a world away with its forest of pine and eucalyptus trees. Île Sainte-Marguerite is the largest of the Lérins Islands and is roughly a half-mile (900 meters) long and 1.8 miles (3km) wide. Most tourists come to see the historic Fort Royal and the Museum of the Sea (Musée de la Mer). Here, you'll find items from the ancient Roman and Saracen shipwrecks on display. You don't want to miss seeing the former prison cells including the one that belonged to the Man in the Iron Mask from the 17th century. Admission to the Fort is 3.20 € and includes a guided tour. The other side of the island is the most beautiful part, but I didn't have time to explore it. Instead, I went for a quick and refreshing swim. The water temperature was around 72 degrees but I didn't stay in for too long; there were red jellyfish floating nearby.

Mass on Île Saint-Honorat

The other popular and slightly smaller island to visit is Île Saint-Honorat. It's a 20-minute, 11-€ boat ride from the marina. Saint Honorat is directly behind Île Sainte-Marguerite and in the summertime, the space between is filled with water skiers, snorkelers and boaters. Wow, is the water ever blue and clear! I wanted to jump in but I was dressed to attend Île Saint-Honorat's Sunday mass with 30 Cistercian monks. The island has been the home of 30-plus monks since the fifth century when Saint Honorat founded a monastery around 410AD. Mass lasted an hour and ten minutes and was given in French. Although I don't speak the language, it was still easy to follow. Hey, I'm a good Catholic boy and it was basically the same as mass back home. The only thing I found different was communion. Here, once the priest hands you the host (body of Christ), worshipers keep it in their hand and proceed to the priest holding the wine chalice with the blood of Christ. The priest then takes the host out of your hand, dips it in the wine and puts it in your mouth. If you go, be sure to dress appropriately (no shorts) and be prepared to stand unless you arrive early. I recommend going a little early; you won't want to miss hearing the chanting of the monks just before mass begins. It's one of the highlights.

A View Not to Be Missed

Afterwards, everyone hits the monks' store to buy their homemade wine, honey, postcards and other treats. If you go, be sure to take a tour of the fortified, 15th-century monastery; it's free. To get to the top is a seven-floor circular stone stairwell. But don't worry; you won't feel claustrophobic at all and at the top, you'll be rewarded with some of the most incredible views of the Mediterranean.

Hotel Renoir

I checked into the three star Hôtel Cannes Renoir. It's located on a quiet hill next to a police station and just below one of Cannes' busiest streets. It's just two blocks from a major shopping street that leads to Old Town and is a short, five-minute walk to all the action ... beach, shops, marina, La Croissette and Palais des Festivals. Hotel Renoir is small, just 26 rooms and has the tiniest and slowest elevator ever! I didn't even bother with it. Instead, I just walked up two flights of stairs to my room (201). I appreciated the small detail they had considered when they added double doors to prevent hallway noise from traveling through to the rooms. Before I opened my room door, I took a deep breath expecting the room to be miniscule but boy was I wrong. All the rooms here are spacious and mine actually had two contemporary rooms; one with a king sized bed. The other with a couch, desk, table and flat screen TV. The bathroom was on steroids too; it had a separate tub and shower and a private toilet room. I love that for the ultimate privacy! The staff is very friendly and when I asked how to log on to the Internet (guests need a password) the clerk said he would be right up with a ticket that had a passcode. That was the only bummer; 24 hours of Internet time will set you back 30 €. Ouch! The only thing that needed improving? They might want to consider adding a soap tray in the shower so you don't have to bend down. Breakfast is included in the room rates which begin at 120 €. Hôtel Cannes Renoir, 7 rue Edith Cavell, Cannes; tel. 04.92.99.62.62.

Dinner in Old Town

Next, my friends and I were off to dinner. Along the way, they spotted a Chinese restaurant called Le Chinks. I said there's no way that a restaurant with a name so politically incorrect could be any good. Sure enough, I found out later, it wasn't. But don't get mad at me because I didn't eat there. I was in France, which has one of the four best cuisines of the world, so I was going out for some French food! The majority agreed and we ended up at Auberge Provençale. It's located at the base of Old Town where the streets become alleys and the pavement turns to cobblestone. Auberge Provençale boasts that they are the oldest (1860) restaurant in Cannes. The service and food were good. For starters everyone had a salad with melted goat cheese and then I opted for the cheese ravioli. The others feasted on duck, beef and fish. The volcano cake dessert was the highlight but then again, I'm a dessert kind of guy. Auberge Provençale, 10 rue St Antoine, Cannes; tel. 04 92 99 27 17.

Not that they're open late but just a couple blocks from the Auberge Provençale restaurant is a chocolate shop called L'Atelier by Jean Luc Pelé. The man sells incredible homemade ice cream and delicate macarons that should not be missed -- even if you've (ahem!) just scarfed down a lava cake. What? L'Atelier, 36 rue Meynadier, Cannes; tel. 04 93 38 06 10.

Hotel Le Cavendish

The next hotel I checked into was Le Cavendish. It's just a couple blocks away from Hotel Renoir and the busy street it was situated on felt like Paris. Le Cavendish is a small boutique property with four floors and 34 rooms. The rotunda ones are the best. A spiral Carrara marble staircase surrounds the 1920s, single-person elevator with cage doors. The French Riviera-inspired rooms are small but comfortable. They have clean bathrooms, free wireless Internet, satellite TV, air conditioning and a balcony. The hotel is quiet so I could only hear a little hallway traffic but I slept well each night. Rates begin at 165 € a night but that includes a marvelous breakfast, which includes made-to-order eggs and a complimentary open bar from 5pm until 11pm each night. The location is just 10 minutes from the beach where the hotel has partnered with one of the beach operators, so be sure to bring your bathing suit. Hotel Le Cavendish, 11 Boulevard Carnot, Cannes 06400, France.

Beache in Cannes

In Cannes, the beaches with lounge chairs and umbrellas are private. In fact, there aren't many public beaches available. However, all beaches are open to the public; the private ones just demand you pay. Prices vary because it all depends on location ... not only the location of the beach but where your lounge chair is positioned. The front row is naturally most expensive and the back the least. And if the beach club has a pier, you better reach deeper into your pocket for some space. At the Cavendish Hotel's beach, the back row set me back 14 € a day. Not bad as it came with a chair and umbrella. The hotel provides beach towels and a beach bag but you need to lug them back and forth.

Along the Croisette beaches, you'll find plenty of friendly photographers waiting to pounce on tourists the moment they step into the water. They aren't paparazzi. They're just capitalizing on the rich to get some unique pictures. Then there are the street hawkers that walk up and down, back and forth, selling everything from clothes, hats, knockoff handbags and sunglasses. The most original was a woman who modeled her own bikinis over her swim suit. It was pretty entertaining to watch her don different designs and styles and strut up and down the beach. I gathered that the hawkers aren't legally allowed to go past the first row of beach chairs though some did. If by chance the cops came by, they'd hide by laying on the ground. The only group I supported were the army of Chinese masseuses who charge around a € a minute, though that price could be negotiated. TIP: Make a reservation for your beach chair. ALL of them are very busy in the summer. TIP 2: To save money, walk down the Croisette to Sofitel. On the right side of their building is a whole strip of beaches -- all much more low-key and, more importantly, less expensive.

C-Beach

Practically every private beach has a restaurant connected to it. I ate at a few of these because they are so convenient and plus, the views and atmosphere are awesome. One of the restaurants was called C-Beach, just two blocks from the Carlton hotel. Tables are under a tent with water gently misting every two minutes from high above. It's a nice reprieve from the high temperatures and doesn't get your food wet. But like many tourist hot spots, the food was just okay. The best part (besides the ice cream with nuts and dried fruit) was the rabbit terrine wrapped with pancetta and cheese in the middle. The spaghetti with vegetables and garlic (17 euro) was bland. Plage Cannes Beach Boulevard de la Croisette.

Hotel Martinez

One of the best beaches on La Croissette is Z Plage. It's run by the Hotel Martinez which has established itself over the decades as the flagship hotel on the Riviera. This is where many of the stars call home during the film festival. I read that most of the cast of Ocean's Thirteen stayed here as well. This prestigious hotel has seven floors and 412 rooms that vary in size (from 25 to 500 sq m). Mine was huge, boasting an oversized bathroom as well. Some of the rooms have already undergone a remodel, although mine had not. But all are equipped with WiFi and have exquisite furniture and works of art. I will say, though, that my room needed some soundproofing; I could hear my neighbor and impatient French commuters blowing their horns each morning. No matter what, it's quite an experience. Rates begin at 160 € and include a fabulous breakfast buffet. Hotel Martinez 73, La Croisette, Cannes; Tel: +33 (0) 4 92 98 73 00.

La Palme d'Or

My most memorable meal by far, was at La Palme d'Or. It's located on the second floor of the Hotel Martinez, overlooking the pool, Croisette and the bay of Cannes. This restaurant, a real gastronomic delight, is a favorite of the stars and rated two Michelin Stars; that's two out of three. That's huge! The restaurant was created in 1985 by Christian Willer who recently retired and handed the Executive Chef duties to Christian Sinicropi. Mr. Sinicropi has added his own little touch. He creates custom-made dishes. Not just the recipes (which are divine) but I'm talking about the actual ceramic ware, too. The plates come in all shapes and sizes to fit the presentation. He changes them often but refuses to sell the retired ones. He even has a book, which commemorated the film festival's 60th anniversary this year, titled Small Delights, Great Movies. Inside are 60 recipes that pay homage to cinema. The movies range from Papillon to The Da Vinci Code.

My Meal

For starters, they brought out a fun dish that had salmon wrapped with ham in a candy-like wrapper and marshmallow pops, all hanging from a carousel. Then came parmesan gnocchi, with tomato and melon marinated in balsamic vinegar. The pan-fried sea bass was topped with mini fish, served with fig stuffed with grilled almonds, grapes and radishes with port wine. Dessert was a marmalade of strawberry with tequila sorbet and topped with a tomato and sweet pepper gazpacho. To make it even better, the service was almost impeccable. The bread was divine and the tea was homemade. I mean freshly cut at the table! Open Tuesday to Saturday for lunch (12:30pm to 2pm) and dinner (8pm to 10pm).

Pizza Jean Jean

Not every place to eat in Cannes is expensive. I went out for pizza one night away from the tourists at Stade des Hespéridesnear, near the Palm Beach Club. This clever "meals on wheels" concept is called Pizza Jean Jean. They have two locations in Cannes and are open from 6pm to 10pm. Pizzas begin at 6.50 € and they sell wine and sodas but not water ... and they don't have knives and forks.

Walking the Red Carpet

Every night I went out on the town. One of the highlights was when I walked up the famous steps of the Palais des Festivals. This is the same red carpet all the stars walk each May during the annual Cannes International Film Festival. Did you know that the Cannes Film Festival is the third most media-attended event in the world? First is The World Cup, followed by the Olympics. Now that's impressive. It's difficult to get a room during the festival and it's not because hoteliers jack up the prices ... they don't. It's just that they require a lengthy (11 days, I think) minimum stay. At the Palais des Festivals, I got to meet the mayor of Cannes and watch the 1984 Cannes Film Festival, award-winning film Paris, Texas. At first, I didn't think my A.D.D. would allow me to sit through a two and half hour movie but I got totally sucked in; the acting was superb and watching Nastassja Kinski in the starring role didn't hurt either.

White Beach Club

The movie was followed by dinner at the Palm Beach Casino (a few miles away) where an art exhibit of fashion models was taking place. I ate at the summertime-only Beach Restaurant. Dinner was comprised of salad and beef topped with foie gras. An incredible dessert of marzipan with fruit on top wasn't served until after midnight ... and we were one of the first parties to be seated. Attached to the restaurant is the White Beach Club. It cost 20 € to get in and drinks are around 14 €. The place was filled with a 20-something to 40-something crowd. The music was pumping and the half-naked go-go girls dancing in between streams of water designed to look like a cage, got everyone on the dance floor. Including me and that's not easy to do when I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes.

Le Palais Disco

Another hot spot is Le Palais Disco. Located next to the Palais des Festivals, this place is only open during the summer season. It costs 25 € to get in and about 10 to15 € for drinks. If you reserve a table, you'll be spending between 140 € and 36,000 € ... no, that's not a typo! I'm sure the entrance fee spikes when headliners like Justin Timberlake or Nelly visit. I hear that Tuesday night is a real trip as a female DJ spins records with her top off. Only in the south of France!

Sailing

Sitting on the beach and staring out at all the multimillion-dollar mega-yachts that, naturally, come complete with helipads, just made me want to go out for a spin on the water. If the ferry to the Lérins Islands doesn't do it for you (don't worry, it didn't do it for me either) or if you don't feel like getting wet waterskiing, banana boating or parasailing, then take a five-hour excursion on a Formula 40 catamaran. It was one of the highlights of my trip and it's one of the most reasonably priced activities in Cannes. Up to 10 people can board and there's a five-person minimum. It's 45 € per person which is not bad considering you're in the notoriously expensive South of France. It's up to you as to what speed you want to cruise at. Some race, but others (like me) prefer to take a leisurely cruise around the Lérins Islands and finish it with a dip in the glorious Mediterranean. AAKA, tel. 06 14 76 12 72.

Note: This trip was sponsored by Maison de la France.

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Related Information:

• Destinations: Cannes
• Trip Ideas: Beach & Water Sports, Cultural Immersion

Note: This information was accurate when it was published, but can change without notice. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.

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