Nov 13, 2007
A "modest proposal" to operate an ultra-cheap cruise by never leaving the dock
Imagine the savings. By keeping one of those new 4,000-passenger ships tied to the dock, the fuel cost would approach zero. The highly skilled personnel needed to navigate the vessel and attend to its motors, would no longer be needed. There would be no fees assessed by foreign ports, no charges for radio transmissions, no wear and tear on the engines. With the money that could be saved, the cruiselines could lower their fares to, say, $25 a day per passenger. A seven-day cruise would cost $175 -- affordable to nearly every American.
And could anyone tell the difference? With their boxing rings and multi-lane bowling alleys, their theaters resembling the Radio City Music Hall, their classes in flower-arranging and better investments, and their Vegas-size casinos, the 4,000-passenger ships are already a largely-indoor experience. You seldom leave the gym, the multiple dining facilities, or even venture onto the two outdoor decks so filled with crowds that you will quickly retreat indoors. On these new Titans of the Ocean Blue, these Carnival Megaliths, these Norwegian Paul Bunyans, you no longer know you are at sea..
So why keep up the pretense? A cruise is no longer a cruise. It retains no semblance of the travel experience. Its thousands of passengers descending to shore immediately cancel out the foreign flavor and charm of the ports at which it stops. So why stop at any port? Why not remain permanently moored, enjoying the giant economies of immobility and thereby pricing the experience for much less than we Americans spend at home?
I am only partly joking.
Write and read comments about this post.
And could anyone tell the difference? With their boxing rings and multi-lane bowling alleys, their theaters resembling the Radio City Music Hall, their classes in flower-arranging and better investments, and their Vegas-size casinos, the 4,000-passenger ships are already a largely-indoor experience. You seldom leave the gym, the multiple dining facilities, or even venture onto the two outdoor decks so filled with crowds that you will quickly retreat indoors. On these new Titans of the Ocean Blue, these Carnival Megaliths, these Norwegian Paul Bunyans, you no longer know you are at sea..
So why keep up the pretense? A cruise is no longer a cruise. It retains no semblance of the travel experience. Its thousands of passengers descending to shore immediately cancel out the foreign flavor and charm of the ports at which it stops. So why stop at any port? Why not remain permanently moored, enjoying the giant economies of immobility and thereby pricing the experience for much less than we Americans spend at home?
I am only partly joking.
Write and read comments about this post.
Labels: cruises
Fifty years ago, 
Arthur Frommer is generally acknowledged to be the nation's foremost travel authority. He is the founder of the
