On yesterday's broadcast of The Travel Show (you can hear it at www.wor710.com), a guest expert described all the new gimmicks to be expected on the dozen-or-so large cruiseships that will be debuting in 2008. "They will be like nothing you have ever seen before," she announced, and with enthusiasm in her voice, she ticked off the advances:

The Queen Victoria and the Celebrity Solstice, in particular, will have "circus training programs," "bungee jumping," "clown acts." These will be added, presumably, to the rock-climbing walls, boxing rings, bowling alleys, and vertiginous jacuzzis jutting out from the top deck and hanging perilously over the sea (the latter have become standard on some ships, but not necessarily on the Queen Victoria or Solstice). But let me repeat those outstanding new features: "circus training programs," "bungee jumping," "clown acts."

On a new ship of Costa Cruises, expect every conceivable game, sport and competition. What's more, Costa will introduce new, extra-charge "spa cabins" so close to fitness rooms that persons staying in them can walk to the showers in their bathrobes. People booking the new spa digs will have exclusive access to that spa, and to their own spa restaurant.

On some of the new ships, the democratic, one-class policies of cruising will be totally jettisoned. There will be a "ship within the ship," an area enjoyed solely by persons paying higher fares, a number of restaurants to which they alone will be admitted, lounges set aside for the elite. On a new ship of Norwegian Cruise Lines, elite passengers will have special suites, special sun deck areas to use, special swimming pools for them alone.

(I suddenly thought of all those aristocrats dressing for dinner in Titanic).

In all this exposition, there was not a single note of criticism, simply hearty enthusiasm about the direction in which cruises were headed.

I find these developments deeply disturbing and reflecting a lower level of culture, education and maturity in our nation. A cruise should be sufficient in itself. It is an opportunity to venture out onto a new and unfamiliar area of the world -- the vast oceans. It is sufficiently different, sufficiently provocative of eternal questions, that it need not be "aided" by bungee jumping, amateur boxing, glass-blowing exhibitions, rock-climbing, and wave-surfing.

A cruise should be an occasion for conversation and reading, for long afternoons in a chaise lounge gazing at the sea and enjoying it. Those were the classic pleasures of cruising that once satisfied a large number of persons, who emerged from the cruise with their equilibrium restored and with memories and new friendships. In place of this, the cruiseships are becoming amusement parks geared to a child's mentality, raucous and hyperactive, the equivalent at sea of what gyms at home and on land normally provide. Why go to sea to become part of a crowd, to engage in bungee-jumping, rock-climbing, wave-surfing, and glass-blowing? Or to listen to lectures on better make-up and gardening?

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Labels: cruises

Glass-blowing. You heard it right: glass-blowing. Though I myself have no particular interest in glass-blowing (I don't even go to see it in Venice), it appears that the public as a whole has been yearning for the addition of glass-blowing to the other cruiseship distractions. And therefore, the new Celebrity Solstice, a giant passenger vessel scheduled for launch in late 2008, will contain a glass-blowing shed on an upper deck, staffed by no fewer than three resident glass-blowing "gaffers" giving expert classes and lectures in the subject.

The news arrived in the December 10, 2007, issue of Travel Weekly (the major trade publication for travel professionals), in the form of a half-page story with a page-width headline on top. Apparently, the Corning Museum of Glass will be associated with the venture, the latest effort by the maritime industry to lure away Americans from land-based vacations. Also on the Solstice cruiseship will be a new bar containing "an ice-filled table where guests can participate in caviar and vodka tastings" (undoubtedly for an extra fee).

I'm so tongue-tied about this latest cruiseship innovation -- topping the rock-climbing walls, bowling alleys, boxing rings, and jacuzzis angled perilously over the sea -- that I'll refrain from further comment.

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Labels: cruises

If there is any travel prediction we can make with confidence for 2008, it concerns the cruiseship industry. After a two-year slowdown in the construction of ships, the building frenzy has started up again, and a full dozen new ships -- most of them enormous vessels -- will go into operation in 2008, adding well over 20,000 berths a week to the industry's capacity. That means 1,000,000 new passengers must be induced to book these ships in the course of the year, and at a time of a slowing economy, that doesn't seem likely.

So what will happen? Discounts. We'll again see a rash of week-long Caribbean cruises selling for $499 a person. We'll see Mediterranean cruises reduced in price to below $1,000 a week per person. We'll see $599 cruises of Alaskan waters (a week in length), and cruises along the coast of South America for $899 per person for a week. It behooves you to become accustomed to the many services on the internet into which the cruise companies dump their cabins for distress sale, such as www.onlinevacationcenter.com, www.vacationstogo.com, www.cruisesonly.com, www.cruisewizard.com, and many others.

The ships that begin sailing in 2008 are the following: the MSC Fantasia carrying 3,900 passengers (that isn't a typo); the Independence of the Seas carrying 3,600 passengers; the Ruby Princess of Princess Cruises carrying 3,100 passengers; the Carnival Splendor carrying 3,000 passengers; the Celebrity Solstice carrying 2,900 passengers; the MSC Poesia carrying 2,600 passengers; the Norwegian Gem carrying 2,500 passengers; the Eurodam of Holland America Cruises carrying 2,000 passengers; and the Queen Victoria of the Cunard Line carrying 2,000 passengers (though it begins sailing this month, it will go into full-scale operation in January, 2008). In addition to these nine giants, at least three "premium" ships carrying from 400 to 800 passengers apiece will begin sailing in 2008.

That's quite a list. And it makes up the only segment of the travel industry whose prices are obviously going to drop, not rise, in 2008 -- albeit for a very special experience that isn't quite cruising but also isn't quite travel. These are, instead, enormous entertainment complexes, floating gymnasiums and theaters, for which the mind of man hasn't yet coined a name.

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Labels: bargains, cruises

I've posted before about the resort fees that are proliferating in a great many standard hotels. You check out of an urban property and learn that $20 a day has been added to your bill for a fitness room you never entered, for an in-room safe that remained untouched, for a coffee maker you never used. It's becoming more and more important to inquire as to whether the hotel plans such unanticipated fees, and then to demand that they not be charged as a condition of your rental.

Note, too, that cancellation charges have recently skyrocketed. Time was when you could cancel without penalty up until 24 hours in advance of arrival. At many hotels, that right will now require a full week's advance notice. Again, inquire in advance, and get some indication -- like an e-mail sent to your home address -- that reasonable cancellation penalties will be in effect.

And then there's the most recent ploy: fuel surcharges. As of next month, hotels in Jamaica (other than the Sandals properties, which have publicly and adamantly refused to impose them) will begin charging up to an extra $10 more per night to guests. The reason given is -- you got it -- because of rising energy costs.

I'm sorry, but $10 a day is mathematically excessive to me (and apparently was so regarded by the Sandals chain). Unless tourists are bringing their electric cars to Jamaica and charging them up using the bathroom outlets, there is little chance that anyone could use the equivalent of an additional $10 of electricity in a day's vacation.

And it gets worse. Just before Thanksgiving, many of the major cruise lines tacked on their own fuel surcharges, despite the fact that many guests had already agreed upon a lower price. The extra charge amounts to $5 to $7 per passenger per day. Multiplied out for a ship carrying 2,500 passengers on a week's cruise, the $7 fee comes to an additional $123,000 for the line, which seems greatly excessive. (I haven't actually seen the ledgers that would prove the need, but I doubt that the cruise ships, which are flagged internationally and don't have to open their books to American oversight, would be in a rush to show me what their accountants have concluded.)

Extra fees are usually a major sign of disrespect that a company has for its customers. They are an indication that the company you're dealing with sees you as a walking dollar sign and not as someone to be pleased by a superior product.

Such disrespectful treatment of consumers will bounce back to haunt the companies that deploy surcharges lightly.

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Labels: accommodations, cruises

In order to give a near-monopoly to the Norwegian America Line (a subsidiary of Norwegian Cruise Line) in sailing among the Hawaiian Islands (Norwegian promised to hire American crew, and to abide by American labor laws), Congress provided that non-American cruiselines could visit Hawaii only if they stopped, at some point of the itinerary, in a non-American destination (which is difficult, indeed).

Some foreign ship lines complied with that requirement by scheduling an absurd overnight side trip to Fanning Island in the Pacific, after first sailing to Hawaii. More of them decided to stop in Ensenada, Mexico, just south of San Diego, in the course of the cruise. Typically, a cruiseline would set off from Los Angeles, stop briefly in Ensenada (even if for less than an hour, and sometimes in the middle of the night), then make the long crossing to Hawaii, then cruise the Hawaiian Islands.

On a separate cruise starting from Hawaii, they would sail back to North America, stop briefly in Ensenada, and then return to Los Angeles. Many of our readers may have been attracted by these nine-day cruises to Hawaii involving a brief (almost unnoticed) stop in Ensenada on one leg of the cruise.

But that's about to become more difficult. Norwegian America Line has complained bitterly about these one-hour stops in Ensenada, and the authorities have agreed to put an end to such artificial compliance. From now on, they have announced, the Ensenada stop must be the real thing, of at least a day's duration, disgorging passengers onto the shore to imbibe the pleasures of Ensenada.

So if you're scheduled for an Ensenada-stopping cruise to Hawaii, you might think again. Because of the need for a real stopover in Ensenada, you will need to spend most of your remaining time simply at sea, and relatively little of it in Hawaii. Which means that an all-Hawaii cruise by Norwegian America line (with U.S. crew members) may be your only realistic option.

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Labels: cruises, hawaii, red tape

Here's your chance to sail on one of those caviar-serving ships, sleeping on 300-count Egyptian cotton sheets, with cocktails for free whenever you want, and either enjoying or avoiding the company of an über-wealthy clientele. If you'll go to VacationsToGo (www.vacationstogo.com), and then to "Caribbean," you'll discover that the big vacationstogo discount website is selling cabins aboard the elegant Silver Wind, of Silversea Cruises, one of those 296-passenger, yacht-like vessels (all suites), for less than $300-a-day on its March 1, seven-day sailing of the Caribbean from Barbados, and for only slightly more than $300-a-day on its March 26 and April 3 seven-day sailings from San Juan, representing whopping 49% and 53% discounts off normal brochure rates for that ship. Though these prices aren't dirt cheap, they are moderate for a ship that normally charges nearly $600 to more than $700 a day per person for its luxurious attentions.

I can't guarantee that these offers will still be up there by the time you get to the VacationsToGo website -- and they obviously won't be there if the executives of Silversea learn that I'm pushing their their precious berths to the hoi polloi, but it's an example of how sharp-eyed value-seekers can sometimes find surprising reductions.

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Labels: cruises, deals

It's in April that cruiseships wind up their winter in the tropics and make a long crossing of the south Atlantic to Europe -- all to start a spring/summer program of cruising in the Mediterranean and North or Baltic Seas. Although they generally begin such crossings with several stops in the Caribbean, and end up visiting several European ports before finally discharging their passengers, they otherwise spend many days simply at sea. That substantial time without a port stop is considered boring by most members of the public, and the cruiselines must therefore slash their rates dramatically to coax passengers aboard these "re-positioning cruises."

Currently, at least 16 ships are scheduled to sail in April, 2008, from Miami, Fort Lauderdale, New York or Galveston, to commence two-week (and longer) sailings to Europe at prices well under $110 a day for the most part -- and sometimes as low as $60 a day. (Other ships will be sailing to Europe directly from various Caribbean or South American ports). These are among the great travel bargains, and if you're a quiet, contemplative type who looks forward to crossing vast distances of the south Atlantic, you'll want to consider booking a re-positioning cruise, which include:

• April 5, 2008, from New York, a 16-day sailing by Holland America's Noordam to Europe, for as little as $1,699 per person.
• April 9, 2008, from Miami, a 16-day sailing of the Azamara Journey (a very upscale ship) to Europe for as little as $1,749 per person.
• April 11, 2008, a 13-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Celebrity Cruises' Constellation to Europe, for as little as $1,399 per person.
• April 12, 2008, a 14-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Royal Caribbean's Navigatorto Europe, for as little as $1,009 per person.
• April 12, 2008, a 16-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Costa Cruises' Costa Mediterranea to Europe, for as little as $1,499 per person.
• April 12, 2008, a 20-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Princess Cruises' Grand Princess to Europe, for as little as $1,699 per person.
• April 12, 2008, a 14-day sailing from Miami of the rather upscale Azamara Quest to Europe, for as little as $1,549 per person.
• April 13, 2008, a 17-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Costa Cruises' Costa Fortuna to Europe, for as little as $1,199 per person (an especial bargain).
• April 14, 2008, a 16-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Princess Cruises' Emerald Princess to Europe, for as little as $1,499 per person.
• April 14, 2008, a 12-day sailing from Miami of Royal Caribbean's Brilliance of the Seas to Europe, for as little as $919 per person.
• April 19, 2008, a 15-day sailing from New York of Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Gem to Europe, for as little as $1,249 per person.
• April 20, 2008, a 15-day sailing from Miami of Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Jewelto Europe, for as little as a remarkable $749 per person.
• April 26, 2008, a 14-day sailing from Miami of Carnival Cruises' Carnival Freedom to Europe, for as little as $2,599 per person.
• April 27, 2008, a 13-day sailing from Galveston of Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas to Europe, for as little as $799 per person.
• April 28, 2008, a 23-day sailing from Fort Lauderdale of Princess Cruises' Royal Princess to Europe, for as little as $2,799 per person.
• April 28, 2008, a 14-day sailing from Miami of Celebrity Cruises' Century to Europe, for as little as $1,029 per person.

Either call each cruiseline direct, or go to CruisesOnly (www.cruisesonly.com), VacationsToGo (www.vacationstogo.com), Cruise Wizard (www.cruisewizard.com), Cruise Brothers (www.cruisebrothers.com), or any other cruise discounter.

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Labels: bargains, cruises

Cruise operators claim the Caribbean has recovered, that bookings are strong for cruises of the tropics. 'Taint so. If you'll go to VacationsToGo.com (www.vacationstogo.com), and click on "90-Day Ticker" listing imminent departures of Caribbean cruises, you'll find numerous 7-day sailings for $499 per person, representing a 70% discount off the brochure price. In fact, if you'll go to the cruises of the Hawaiian islands offered aboard the Pride of Aloha and Pride of Hawaii, you'll find imminent, 11-day and 7-day cruises discounted by 73% off the published rate (which brings their price down to $799 and $849 from a published level of $2,929 and $3,199).

VacationsToGo.com isn't the only discounter to feature such reductions, but I find that its listings are clearly set forth and easily understood. It is also a major company that has, to the best of my knowledge, a reliable record. Note that numerous, pre-Christmas sailings in December are also heavily discounted -- but because the time for booking those is so short, I haven't drawn attention to them.

Care for a week of stuffing yourself on six-meals-a-day? Book a Caribbean cruise.

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Labels: caribbean, cruises, deals

Kudos to National Geographic Traveler for speaking plainly about the current state of the Caribbean islands. If you read its story "Island Destinations Rated," you'll see the most startling comments imaginable on the relative success of various islands in preserving or failing to preserve their local culture and charm in the face of mass tourism. Opinions were apparently obtained from over 500 experts in sustainable tourism and historical preservation, who apparently were bursting to vent their upset.

And thus, in rating the island of St.Maarten/St. Martin, NG Traveler opines: "The Dutch side is a mess; out of control high-rise and strip development." In talking about the former natural beauty of St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands, the magazine states that "the pressure of up to ten cruise ships in a day (almost 2 million arrivals a year) erases that natural beauty. The native population is unfriendly, with a coldness that borders on outright hostility." And then the report proceeds to characterize St. Thomas as "a shopping mall for cruiseships."

As someone who visited St. Thomas two years ago, I can confirm that description. And readers of this blog will recall my many references to the damage that humongous cruiseships do when they dump several thousands of passengers at a time on a small Caribbean port.

In fairness to the Caribbean, it should be noted that numerous cities in the continental U.S. would receive similar advance comments from a band of experts in environmental protection. Imagine the comments that could be directed to St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, and numerous portions of New York, Boston or Hartford, CT. The difference is that the Caribbean relies heavily on tourism, and cannot afford to suffer such comments.

Among the destinations receiving many favorable comments was the little island of Bonaire in the Netherlands Antilles. But for a startling assessment of most of the other islands, go to the website I've named above.

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Labels: caribbean, cruises

The cruiselines are starting to disclose the "innovative" features of the giant new ships coming on stream in 2008. In addition to rock-climbing, ice-skating, bowling alleys, boxing rings, and the like, we can expect the following:

• From MSC Cruises launching the new MSC Poesia, a tennis court and cigar room.
• From Royal Caribbean International launching the new Independence of the Seas, a "well-being center with thermal caves."
• From Princess Cruises launching the new Ruby Princess, a "dramatic piazza-style atrium with performing street entertainers."
• From Holland America Line launching the new Eurodam, "elegant luxury jewelry boutiques, a new photographic and imaging center, and a youth facility with teens-only loft."

These are cruiseships? In fact, they're more like gigantic, metallic, orgone boxes of the sort envisioned in the 1920s by hallucinating psychologists.

So why must they ever leave the dock? Shouldn't they simply remain immobile and thus save the considerable expense of going to sea? In these replicas of a "city at sea", as Susan J. Young of the magazine Southern Cruising recently put it, "you might go surfing, watch an ice show, climb a rock wall, take computer classes, or dance the night away at a pulsating disco with lots of new friends".

I'll pass.
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Labels: cruises

Imagine the savings. By keeping one of those new 4,000-passenger ships tied to the dock, the fuel cost would approach zero. The highly skilled personnel needed to navigate the vessel and attend to its motors, would no longer be needed. There would be no fees assessed by foreign ports, no charges for radio transmissions, no wear and tear on the engines. With the money that could be saved, the cruiselines could lower their fares to, say, $25 a day per passenger. A seven-day cruise would cost $175 -- affordable to nearly every American.

And could anyone tell the difference? With their boxing rings and multi-lane bowling alleys, their theaters resembling the Radio City Music Hall, their classes in flower-arranging and better investments, and their Vegas-size casinos, the 4,000-passenger ships are already a largely-indoor experience. You seldom leave the gym, the multiple dining facilities, or even venture onto the two outdoor decks so filled with crowds that you will quickly retreat indoors. On these new Titans of the Ocean Blue, these Carnival Megaliths, these Norwegian Paul Bunyans, you no longer know you are at sea..

So why keep up the pretense? A cruise is no longer a cruise. It retains no semblance of the travel experience. Its thousands of passengers descending to shore immediately cancel out the foreign flavor and charm of the ports at which it stops. So why stop at any port? Why not remain permanently moored, enjoying the giant economies of immobility and thereby pricing the experience for much less than we Americans spend at home?

I am only partly joking.

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Labels: cruises

Because I've been "hoping against hope" that Windjammer Barefoot Cruises would overcome its financial difficulties, and perhaps conveyed a thin ray of optimism in a recent post, it's important now to report that the situation of that deeply-satisfying method of sailing the Caribbean seems beyond repair. Although the Miami Herald reported on October 4 that five employees were still at work in Windjammer's Miami office, those individuals appear (to me) to be die-hard caretakers and volunteers who themselves may be unable to face reality. The website of Windjammer is no longer operational (though the phone is answered), and more important the four sailing ships seem stuck motionless (without electricity, fuel, supplies or full crew) in various tropical ports. In Aruba, the Red Cross has apparently begun feeding those remnants of crew who continue to sleep aboard one particular full-masted vessel.

At least one lawsuit has been brought by a would-be investor who claims that the family trust which owns Windjammer had reneged on its promise to negotiate only with him. Although reports continue to surface of other white knights, it would appear that Windjammer's affairs are so tangled that even a deep-pocketed cruise company would need weeks to set them aright. You would be foolish indeed to book a future sailing at this time or embark on a flight to a particular port planning to board one of Windjammer's ships. Each and every one of last week's sailings was canceled.

I hope I'm wrong about its future prospects, but Windjammer Barefoot Cruises seems badly wounded and out of action, at least for the immediate future.

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Labels: cruises