The Press Release:

Romance Is in the Water in Aruba: Celebrate Coral Spawning Season with Escape at The Westin Resort

$300 ‘Conception Credit’ for Couples Who Conceive During Getaway; All-Inclusive Fall Rates Starting at $199 Per Person

Romance fills Aruba’s waters each fall during coral spawning season, when millions of coral reproduce, forming pink and white clouds that delight underwater enthusiasts. With love in the water, romance-inducing coral spawning season is a fitting time for lovers to escape to the island of Aruba, with its ideal location outside the hurricane belt and year-round sunshine.  The Westin Resort, Aruba invites couples to prolong the relaxing beach days of summer with the all-inclusive experience, with rates starting at $399 per room, based on double occupancy (that’s less than $200 per person, per day, including meals & alcohol), for travel through December 18, 2009.*  As an added bonus, couples who book prior to September 30, 2009 will receive a $100 resort credit, which can be used towards activities such as an in-room massage or other spa services.

Couples who were inspired by Aruba’s coral mating ritual during their fall getaway (September 1 – December 19, 2009), and can prove they conceived during their stay, will receive a $300 ‘Conception Credit’ towards a return visit to the resort in 2010. With all the stress of preparing for a new arrival, the expecting parents will surely be in need of a pre-baby Caribbean retreat.

The Westin Resort, Aruba’s all-inclusive package takes the stress out of planning daily meals and activities and allows couples to focus on the most important thing: each other.  A new twist on the all-inclusive vacation, without sticker shock – or the wristbands and endless buffet lines typically associated – the package includes accommodations, three meals daily, unlimited drinks (yes, beer, wine and cocktails, too), a $25 dining credit for the resort’s fine dining establishments, non-motorized water sports, tax and service fees and more.

For resort reservations or further information, call (877) 782-0149 or visit www.westinaruba.com/allinclusive.  When booking, please ask for rate plan CLASSIC.

Preposterous Rating: 9.5 out of 10.

I have so many questions about this.

For one, is swimming through a "pink and white cloud" of coral sperm really an aphrodesiac? I think it would just make me want to take a shower.

Will there be fertility pills on the pillows instead of mints? Pregnancy tests in the minibar?

If a couple does get pregnant, how much paperwork will they have to fill out to "prove they conceived during their stay"?  Is that even possible, barring photographic or forensic evidence? 

Does this mean Westin Aruba -- which we rate as a 3-star property -- will see an increase in pregnant visitors in 2010 (when guests can return with their vouchers)? And will all those on-site conceptions encourage other couples trying to get pregnant, or turn-off couples trying not to? Or just completely disgust couples trying not to think of other guests conceiving children in the very room they're staying in? 

Is the hotel kitchen staff allowed to laugh when the chef asks them to "put the buns in the oven"? Roughly how many "that's what she said" jokes will the staff tell during this promotion?

Most curious to me in lieu of the economy: Have we really reached a point where people will have a baby when and where they are told in order to get a $300 voucher? Perhaps this will appeal to some couples who truly do want to get pregnant now and do want to enjoy two separate vacations before baby arrives -- but if they're willing to bend over backwards to save $300 ("that's what she said"), maybe they could also convince the Westin to put that money towards a college savings account instead.