From the huge billboards and glossy brochures, Phuket FantaSea, the islands premiere theme attraction, seems like it could be touristy and ridiculous. Surprise -- it is!! But it's fun in the same way Atlantic City can be fun. Phuket FantaSea is a big theme park with a festival village lined with glitzy shops, games, entertainment and snacks. A wander here will keep you busy until the show starts. They serve a huge buffet in the palatial Golden Kinaree Restaurant and then visitors proceed to the Palace of the Elephants for the show. Frankly, the shopping is expensive and the dinner is not too good (you can buy a ticket for the show only, no dinner), but the big spectacle is incredibly entertaining and very professional. There are rumors that the elephants are drugged so they can endure the fireworks, also that the show is just stage-one of what will be a huge casino. The in-your-face advertising for the place alone is enough to put you off (trucks driving around town with loudspeakers and there are posters on anything flat) but it's worth a trip. Many places include transport in the price of the ticket. The show is at Kamala Beach, north of Patong, on the coastal road. Call tel. 07627-1222 for reservations. The stage is dark on Thursdays. The park opens at 5:30pm; the buffet begins at 6:30pm and the show at 9pm. Tickets for the show are 1,000B ($25) for adults and 750B ($18) for children, while dinner and transfer fees usually add 500B ($12) for adults and 300B($7) for children. Ask about the rates at any hotel concierge, they often have deals.
Phuket also has a resident cabaret troupe at Simon Cabaret, 100/6-8 Moo 4, Patong Karon Rd. (tel. 07634-2011). There are shows at 7:30 and 9pm nightly; the cost is 600B ($15); they're on the south end of Patong. It's a featured spot on every planned tour agenda that draws busloads. This glitzy transsexual show caters mostly to Asian tourists and lip-sync numbers of popular Asian pop songs keep the audience roaring. It can be a lot of fun. In between the comedy are dance numbers with pretty impressive sets and costumes.
Every night you can catch Thai boxing at Vegas Thai Boxing in Patong at the Patong Simon Shopping Arcade on Soi Bangla. Bouts start every night from 7pm and last until 3am. Fight-night info is all over town and admission is free.
Patong nightlife is wild. Lit up like a little Las Vegas, the beach town hops and it's Saturday every night of the week. Shops and restaurants stay open late, and there is an array of bars, nightclubs, karaoke lounges, snooker halls, massage parlors, go-go bars, and dance shows à la Bangkok's Patpong or the streets of Pattaya. Bangla Road, perpendicular to the beach road on the north end of Patong, is the little red-light district in town and the hostess girls line up and reel in passersby (goes something like: "Hey handsome man, where you go?"). It's pretty seedy and you might want to keep the little ones away to avoid any lengthy explanations later, but it's a funny scene. A few bars about halfway down the road are always packed for views of the informal tabletop dancing. The curvaceous, costumed dancers are mostly transsexuals (Important: No Photos!).
Scruffy Murphy's (tel. 07629-2590), along the main strip in Patong, is the obligatory beachside Irish pub with only a few scruffy ones wandering about, mostly young UK tourists revving up to make a night of it and a good place to get started of an evening. There are a few discos in town: just ask around to find out what's going on.
