Cars thunder enticingly around the bend of an outdoor motorway at nearly 65mph, but that’s as good as it gets. Those passengers are experiencing the climax of a complicated, multistage ride that puts them through the paces of a proving ground of an automobile manufacturer (sponsor: Chevrolet). Before boarding, you use a touch screen to choose a car using the ill-defined factors of capability, power, responsiveness, and efficiency. Then, you go along for the ride in a minimally decorated warehouse on a series of diagnostic safety tests (don’t worry; you don’t have to actually do anything), while trackside screens ostensibly show you how your creation would perform under the same circumstances—in fact, it’s the same exact ride every time. Your six-passenger car brakes suddenly and careens through a mostly black room decorated by illuminated lines that seem to have been inspired by “Tron” (and a very low budget). Finally, you shoot outside the building and make an invigorating circuit around the circular track over the Epcot employee parking lot. (Hertz has a similar experience—it’s called a convertible.) The post-ride showroom features a few steering games plus samples from Chevy’s current fleet, which get constant rubdowns by an attendant with a rag. Ultimately, it’s pretty much been a boring ride since its 2012 renovation; it doesn’t make much sense anymore and it feels cheap. Strategy: Along with Soarin’, it’s the busiest ride at Epcot, so get a Fastpass. There’s a single-rider line that doesn’t let you skip much and invariably puts you in a right-hand seat, but cast members may grill you about whether you’re truly alone.
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