The Hall of Presidents

Following a historical, wide-angle film, Audio-Animatronic versions of the U.S. presidents crowd awkwardly onstage, nodding to the audience, and several in turn spout homilies about democracy, unity, and other satisfying nuggets. It’s as lacking in substance as it was since wowing first-day visitors in 1971, pre-Watergate, although it has been newly outfitted with a likeness of Barack Obama (living presidents record their own monologues). Although audiences don’t realize it, figures were created with historical accuracy; if the president didn’t live in an era of machine-made clothing, for example, he wears a hand-stitched suit. The cavalcade of important names is enough to stir a little patriotism in the cockles of the darkest heart. If you’re thinking about it (most audiences aren’t), the technical wizardry required—Lincoln even rises from sitting positions to address the audience—impresses as much as it did when the show began with only Mr. Lincoln in 1964. Then, the sight of such a lifelike robot had audiences gasping. Nowadays, it’s an adorable chestnut. Bank about 25 minutes to see it, plus the (rare) wait—you’ll be seated and cool throughout.