Well, I’m sorry for you. Just as it’s impossible to eat an entire box of Velveeta in one sitting (please don’t try), you can’t get the full breadth of Orlando in a single day.
Today: Make It a Magic Kingdom Day
Thankfully, one Orlando attraction is so quintessential that you can enjoy it all by itself: Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. Don’t miss the great Disney Audio-Animatronic odysseys Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, and “it’s a small world”, and be sure to brave the drops of Splash Mountain and Space Mountain. While you’re there, take a free spin on the monorail through the iconic Contemporary Resort after you connect for the free round-trip ride to Epcot, where you’ll at least see the other top Disney park from above. Stay until closing, through the fireworks, or, if you’ve had enough, head to a kitschy dinner banquet spectacle such as the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue. Hope you’re not hungry for subtlety!