Personal Puerto Vallarta: Johnny Jet Heads South of the Border

Recently I flew 1,220 miles away from Los Angeles. Any idea? If you guessed Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (airport code PVR), you're right! The locals call Puerto Vallarta just Vallarta. It's located on the coast, smack in the middle of Mexico, and is the start of the "Mexican Riviera." I must admit, I didn't know jack about Mexico until this trip. The only places I had been before were Cabo San Lucas, Ensenada, Rosarita and Tijuana. As you can see from the map they are all located in Baja California, so I don't really consider them Mexico (neither did the Mexican guy I sat next to on the plane).

We were invited to Vallarta on a press trip by Aeromexico and the Presidente InterContinental, so that's the airline and hotel we used. I went down a day earlier than Amber Airplane, because she had to attend the VH1 Big Awards at Universal City.

I had never flown Aeromexico, so I was excited. I'm always excited to fly a new carrier, unless it's some notoriously bad airline and/or has props, not jets. My flight was at 10:35 a.m., and I was pleasantly surprised that the check-in was very smooth. I arrived at 9, and there was no one in front of me. It was a full flight, too. I have no idea how they accomplished this, but I was later told by one of their executives that their goal is to take the stress out of flying. Therefore, you rarely see more than three people in line, and flights almost always on time. I also learned they have the best on-time performance rate in the world (97 percent) for the past 10 years (based on Mexican Civil Aviation Authorities records).

Interestingly, my flight was late - but Aeromexico deserves a bit of credit for that too. They were nice enough to hold the plane for some connecting passengers arriving from Salt Lake City on a late Delta flight. So instead of taking off on time and ruining those people's vacations (the next flight to Puerto Vallarta was for 14 hours later), they waited 20 minutes and put a dent into their on-time performance.

Aeromexico's gates are located in terminal 5 in LAX (that's Delta's terminal, with some SkyTeam partners such as Aeromexico). I was sitting by Gate 53, just staring up at their informative screens, when I heard my name paged. I thought it could be good news ("Here's an upgrade!") or bad ("We need to bump you"). Luckily, the agent was smiling, so I knew it was good. I went from 24D to 1C in the matter of minutes. Hello!

The flight down was smooth and scenic. We flew along the Baja California peninsula, then crossed the Gulf of California to mainland Mexico. I sat next to a really cool Mexican man named Gustavo, who is the sales manager of Melia hotels. We had a lot of laughs, and Gustavo told me all about Vallarta.

The food in first class was good, as was the food in coach. How do I know? Well, they served me this tray that had a crisp salad with a very tasty lemon vinaigrette, tiramisu, a mint chocolate, the best bread and a salmon sandwich. But I don't eat salmon, so the flight attendant was kind enough to bring me the coach ham and cheese croissant. (I wonder who got my first class meal instead.)

The only thing weird about the flight was when the pilot came out and went to the bathroom without a flight attendant blocking the cockpit door with a food cart. On U.S. carriers that would never happen. I later found out this is common: Mexican captains are confident nothing will happen to them, because they are a neutral country. It was kind of nice feeling like I was flying in pre-9/11 days, but after I thought about it I realized it was kind of crazy. You never know what psychos are out there. The good thing is that I was sitting in the first row, and had my seat belt unbuckled just in case someone tried to do something stupid.

Landing in PV (Puerto Vallarta) reminded me of landing in Maui, Hawaii. We were surrounded by tall, lush mountains and an emerald green-blue ocean. When we got lower we saw farmland and palm trees. It was beautiful. When we got off the plane walked down through the terminal to customs, we were separated from the gate area by only a three-foot fence. Customs was quick, and my bag was out within two minutes. Gotta love that! To clear customs you have to press a button connected to a street light looking sign. However, there were only two colors: red and green. If red comes up (it's completely random), your bags will be inspected. Luckily, I got the green light. Yeah baby!

Transportation had been arranged for me, so my driver (and everyone else's) stood just outside of baggage claim, yelling and holding signs. Taxis are cheap in Vallarta -- except from the airport. The government has some kind of racket on taxis leaving the airport. If you want one of those taxis just go to the taxi window and prepay for your taxi. Prices are all by zone, not meter (so when you hail a taxi from the street always ask how much before you get in -- and ask if that's in pesos or dollars). After getting your receipt for a taxi at the airport, just go outside and a dispatcher will tell you which taxi to take. The trip to my hotel from the airport was 250 pesos ($25), but going back the airport from the same hotel was only 90 pesos ($9).

Here's a great tip to beat the government-run airport taxis (which unfortunately I didn't learn until it was too late). If you don't have a lot of bags, walk straight out of baggage claim and exit the building. Take a left, go up the stairs and walk across the overpass to the other side of the street. There you will find yellow taxis lined up for one-third of the price.

You don't have to tip taxi drivers, but you should tip service people (bellmen $1 a bag, waiters 10-20 percent). You can use pesos or American dollars in Vallarta, but you get only pesos as change. One U.S. dollar equals 11 pesos, but all the stores give only 10 pesos for every dollar. The bad news is you lose a little, but the good news is it's much easier to calculate. If you want the best exchange rate, use an ATM (they're common throughout Vallarta). Check with your bank before leaving the U.S. to see what kind of service charge they bill you.

I was sitting in a taxi on the way to my hotel from the airport. I was staying at the Presidente InterContinental, one of the furthest hotels from the airport. It's a 20-minute drive, but because I arrived on a Mexican national holiday there was so much traffic that it took twice that time. I didn't care, because the drive through this quaint Mexican port was very enjoyable and scenic. I found it interesting to see an amazing number of pickup trucks full of locals. You never see this where I'm from.

Here's a taxi tip you can use in any city: Don't get advice on where to eat from a taxi driver, even if he says the place you are going is bad. As in cities around the world, many taxi drivers receive a commission from restaurants where they drop passengers off. If you don't even like to take taxis, in Vallarta buses are a good alternative. They run frequently (usually from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m.). The fare is only 40 cents, but watch out for aggressive drivers (especially while crossing the street). Supposedly, these guys are the most dangerous thing in Puerta Vallarta. My Frommer's guidebook said some busses even have names like Terminator or Rambo. I'm glad I didn't see any of those!

Before I arrived at my hotel I whipped out my GSM (Global System for Mobile Communication) cell phone to let Amber Airplane know I made it safely. Using a cell phone in Mexico (or any foreign country, for that matter) is kind of tricky. I mentioned a few weeks ago that JohnnyJet.com partnered with the a company that sells international cell phones. This is the same cell phone I used in Australia earlier this year. With this cell phone I was able to have a local phone number, which is key for local friends or colleagues. They don't have to make expensive international calls back to the States to reach you, yet you can stay in touch with loved ones back home. For example, a call from Australia to the U.S. (anytime) cost me just 17 cents a minute. If that low price wasn't enough, all incoming calls -- no matter where the person was calling me from -- were free. What's also great about the phone is that you can use it in almost any country except the U.S.

It's easy. You buy a GSM phone (preferably from JohnnyJetCellPhones.com) and SIM card for the country you are going to. Sliding the SIM card in the back of the phone gives you a local phone number and a predetermined amount of talk time. When you run out of minutes, just go to a tobacco store, pharmacy, grocery store, gas station or newsstand, and purchase more minutes. It's just like getting minutes for a calling card, which means you don't have to worry about getting home to find a gigantic bill waiting in the mail. Like calling cards, you can find out how many minutes remain at any time. This really is the best option for anyone who travels internationally, and wants the convenience and safety of a cell phone (even if it's only one time). I put my phone to good use in Mexico, and the calls were very clear but not as cheap as in Australia. Which doesn't make much sense since Mexico is so much closer than Australia. Imagine that! For more info check out JohnnyJetCellPhones.com's Mexico prepaid SIM card.

When I arrived at the Presidente InterContinental hotel, it looked to be just an okay 4-star hotel. However, each day it got better and better. The hotel isn't huge, and there is not a lot of property, but the location is awesome. It's right on the ocean, surrounded by the Sierra Madre mountains. At first I didn't like being so far away from town. But after seeing how nice the trip into town was, and how cheap the taxis are, the 12-minute drive turned out to be ideal. Besides, I think most people who stay here won't be going into town every day, especially after seeing the 100 yards of Vallarta's best beaches. They will just want to relax and enjoy the place.

To tell you the truth, when I got invited to Mexico, I worried about three things: crime, tap water and the food. I heard countless horror stories about all those things in Mexico, but I couldn't have been more wrong-- especially in beautiful Puerto Vallarta.

First of all, I quickly learned there is very little crime in Puerto Vallarta (locals just call it Vallarta). The reason is that this town survives mainly on tourism, and the locals are not stupido. They realize that if tourists are afraid to come to their city, then most of the locals would lose mucho dinero. The other reason there is little crime is that Mexicans are really warm people. That's probably why in 2001, Puerto Vallarta was named by a Conde Nast Traveler poll as the friendliest city in the world.

I really like that Vallarta keeps an old-school feel to the town. There are very few traffic lights, even though it must be crazy for a non-native to drive here. The only street lights I saw were around the airport and the Marina district.

We visited many hotels in Vallarta. Not all of them have nice beaches, especially the ones in the Marina area (it's built on swamp land). However, the hotels all overcompensate by having really nice pools. That is perfect for people who don't like to swim in the ocean. The pool at our hotel was small but really nice, and included a swim-up pool bar.

My room was spacious with tiled floors, but had a musty smell. It turned out the odor came from two of my four pillows (which I had replaced) and the bread spread. This seemed to be an isolated problem, because of the 15 other travel writers there, I was the only one with a musty room. I recommend this hotel because they will renovate their rooms early next year, when they roll out their "AcquaSensia" concept. All those musty things I had will be replaced.

AcquaSensia means that the hotel will focus on the guest's mind, spirit and happiness. They will add many new amenities, including a pillow menu (foam, feather, soft, firm...). Along with the renovations, the hotel will not allow anyone under 18. I think this will be a big challenge, because I saw many guests with children. However, it would have been nice to lie in bed listening to the pounding surf at 8 a.m. without hearing kids yelling in the pool for mom to hurry up and bring their toys.

Unlike most hotels, the lobby was not located on the ground. Instead it was smack in the middle of the fifth floor! I'm not sure why they did this but it worked well, and gave their fine restaurant a fantastic view. My room was on the 8th floor. Not only did it have a nice view, but there was a basket of fruit by the elevator (which I often took advantage of). Presidente InterContinental; Carretera a Bara de Navidad km 8.5, Zona Hotelera Sur, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico; tel.: 011.52.322.228.0507.

I quickly unpacked, threw on some sandals and went downstairs to meet the travel writers I would be with for the next three nights. Everyone was really cool. They came from popular publications like Frommers.com, the New York Post, Dallas Post, Tampa Bay Magazine, Travel Savvy Magazine and others.

We took a tour, and our first stop was the Molino de Agua for drinks. This hotel is close to downtown, at the mouth of the Cuale River. We sat outside under a tented roof, surrounded by rubber and mango trees. Thirty years ago this was called the Jungle Inn -- a fitting name, because sitting out there felt like the jungle. Molino de Agua; tel.: (322) 222-1957.

At this hotel I had my first encounter with my second fear of Mexico: tap water. The waiter poured everyone water from a pitcher. I thought there was no way I would drink it. I noticed some of the journalist had the same feeling, while others were sipping away. Taking no chances, I ordered a Sprite -- and was bummed when the waiter poured it into a glass full of ice! I was thirsty and did not want to make a scene, so I lowered my glass below the table and started flipping ice cubes with my fork onto the ground. If I hadn't been so thirsty I would not have done that, but I was jonesing for something to drink. Later, I learned that the water is safe to drink at all Puerto Vallarta's major hotels and good restaurants, because all use filtered water. I wish I found that out before I used a whole bottle of bottled water to brush my teeth! FYI: I drank the tap water from then on, and even chewed (my mom would be so dissapointed) on the ice (not in large quantities). I never had any problems.

After drinks at the Molina, we went into town for dinner. That was where my final fear ("How safe is the food?) was extinguished. This was my biggest surprise. I thought we would eat tacos and burritos every night. Wrong! It turns out that Puerta Vallarta has some of the best restaurants in the world. Who would have thought it? Many chefs are from Europe, or trained there. In Vallarta you can get everything from fast food (unfortunately) to the finest French dishes. It also didn't hurt that we were in town during the 9th Annual Gourmet Festival . This event alone is a reason to go there. Eighteen of the city's top restaurants gather the cr? de la cr? of the culinary world. During this week some of the best local and international chefs prepare special menus nightly. Reservations are highly recommended.

We were fortunate to have reservations at some of the best restaurants in town. We ate like kings, and meals there were like going out to dine in Europe. In the finest restaurants dinner is an event, and takes a l-o-n-g time. Some meals were three hours long -- a far cry from the U.S.!

The first restaurant we went to was Café des Artistes. It was incredible. Their renowned chef, Thierry Blouet, also prepares AeroMexico's exclusive Clase Premier specialties. We sat outside in the garden -- a very romantic setting -- and again felt like we were in the jungle (but a lot nicer). It was dark, and the stairs were lit by motif candles. We sampled most of AeroMexico's dishes they serve in Premier class. I might just have to fly AeroMexico just to eat. The food was delicious. My favorites were the chilled coconut soup and two desserts. You have to love the presentation of the creme brulee. Café des Artistes; Guadalupe Sánchez 740, Centro Puerto Vallarta, Méxicol; tel.: 01 (322) 22 232 28 / 29.

Well, after rubbing Buddha (my belly) to bed the first night, I woke up on time to jump on our bus and head to our first destination. We went to the Casa Iguana for breakfast. This hotel is close to the jungle, and has some history behind it. In fact, the river across the street is where they filmed a scene from the 1964 movie "Night of the Iguana." You will see later that this movie had a huge impact on the city.

Casa Iguana is in an area call Mismaloya, 25 minutes south of downtown Vallarta. The hotel owner provided breakfast for everyone -- my first authentic Mexican meal. I had chilaquiles en salsa. Chilaquiles are tortilla chips cooked in a sauce with meats or vegetables, or scrambled with eggs. They were pretty tasty. After breakfast we took a tour of the hotel, which was nice but basic. If you are on a budget, you could get a really good deal here. The room rate is $100 a night, but I spoke to a couple checking out who said they got it for $45 (just ask if they have any specials). The couple said they spent 10 days there and really enjoyed it. Casa Iguana Hotel; Av. 5 de Mayo 455, Mismaloya, Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, México C.P. 48394; tel.: 1-877-893-7654 (toll free).

After breakfast we headed a few miles into the jungle. A bumpy dirt road took us to an area called Chino's Paradise. This is a touristy place. Most people go to see the falls, which were featured in Arnold Schwarzenegger's movie "Predator." You can still see the helicopter they used in the parking lot, but the falls are way cooler.

We drove back to downtown Vallarta and were dropped off in the heart of the city. We were greeted by these adorable girls selling Chiclets. It was there that we met Juan, our tour guide. He was from the Puerto Vallarta Convention Visitors Bureau, so he knew what he was talking about.

We began the tour by walking down the Malecon (most people call it "the boardwalk," which is kind of funny because there are no boards). We looked at the many cool sculptures (including sand sculptures ) that line this seaside promenade. Juan said the sculpture of the boy on the seahorse has come to represent Puerto Vallarta. I can't remember why...sorry! However, I do know the most popular sculpture is the ladder with two kids on it, and their mother in front calling for them. It turns out the sculpture is called "Ladder to Heaven," and was created by Sergio Bustamante. On the ladder we found not only the two sculpted kids, but plenty of tourists climbing for a photo op. Our next stop was the municipal building (city hall) on the main square. Go upstairs and check out the large Manuel Lepe mural above the stairwell -- it's Mexican folk art at its finest.

Next we walked outside into the square and listened to live music, after which Juan told us some facts. He said that 400,000 people live in Vallarta, while over three million tourists visit a year. Americans are first, representing 65% of all visitors. Juan also told us a story about a legendary man named Juan Diego, who is one of the main persons responsible for Mexico being 85% Catholic.

We took just a few steps toward the street the Church is on, before going in Juan told us to stand there and watch the locals walking or driving. It was amazing: almost everyone passing by gave the Our Father, Son and Holy Spirit sign. The Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe is absolutely beautiful. Its famous for the crown on top, held in place by angels (a replica of the crown worn by Empress Carlota during her brief time in Mexico as Emperor Maximilian's wife). It took 33 years to build the church (1918 to 1951). On the steps you will find women selling religious mementos. Services (in English) are held Sundays at 10am. Hours are Monday through Saturday (7:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m.), Sunday from 6:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Walking around gets hot, so bring bottled water and sunscreen. Most streets are cobblestone which gives the city so much personality and history but also makes it hard to walk in anything but sneakers. So make sure you have comfortable shoes on. Juan gave us some more history on Puerto Vallarta, which was quite interesting. In the 1500s Vallarta was first explored by Spanish conquistadors from the coast. Then around 1851 it was settled by farmers, fishermen, miners and mango and banana plantation owners. Originally the city was named Puerto las Penas, which meant Port of Rocks. In 1918 the named was officially changed to Puerto Vallarta, in honor of governor Ignacio L. Vallarta.

The city really became popular in 1963. That's when John Huston brought movie stars Ava Gardner and Richard Burton there to film the Tennessee Williams tale "Night of the Iguana." Burton did not bring his wife; instead he arrived with his girlfriend, Elizabeth Taylor. That turned into quite a scandal, because she was also married to someone else at the time. Paparazzi flocked in from around the world. When they weren't shooting photos of the famous couple they photographed the beauty of Puerto Vallarta, sending countless pictures back to their hometown papers.

Juan took us by Richard's and Elizabeth's villas, a few blocks from the church in an area known as Gringo Gulch. Many Americans have homes there. We even saw cars with U.S. license plates (must've been a long drive!). When you see the pink arched bridge, you have arrived at Richard Burton's and Elizabeth Taylor's villas. The bridge connected their houses. (Because they were married to other people they couldn't live together, but at night when they wanted a little nooky this bridge was often used). That's according to my boy Juan, so don't kill (or sue) the messenger. FYI: You can tour these homes for $8, between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. Casa Kimberley at Calle Zaragoza 445; tel.: 322/222-1336.

Juan left us there, so we just walked around town on our own. We checked a few shops, and made a pit stop in a pharmacy (there is one on almost every block) . What's great about Mexican pharmacies is you don't need a prescription, so almost everything is over the counter and a lot cheaper than in the U.S. (An asthma inhaler costs $21 here, compared to $60 in the U.S.). The hot item in our group was a cream that supposedly takes away the sting from bites from bugs and jelly fishes. It cost only $1.

We walked by a restaurant across from the promenade, and I snapped a picture of this cool gigantic statue. Then we stopped at Las Palmas for drinks, chips and salsa. They tasted the same as U.S. chips and salsa but something about being in Mexico made them better. Sitting in this restaurant, I saw the marketing skills of the locals. Check out this crazy idea: These guys were cruising the coast with a giant poster on a boat -- good idea, right? -- except these turkeys had an annoying siren blaring so everyone would look and check out their sign. It obviously worked but good thing they weren't allowed to cruise by our hotel.

We hopped back in the bus, and drove to the Marina district near the airport. This city is getting Americanized, because we passed a Wal-Mart and Sam's Club on the way. We arrived at one of Vallarta's nicest boutique hotels: the Quinta Real. This place was very elegant, with extra-large rooms, an on-site spa and a gorgeous pool. I would love to stay there sometime. We had a late lunch there, which was so good and so filling. It was called a "light snack," but there was nothing light about it; it was a full-on meal (this was just my appetizer). High-season rates average $250. It's on the golf course at Pelicanos 311. Quinta Real Puerto Vallarta; tel.: 322/221-0800.

We went back to our hotel for 30 minutes to get ready for dinner. AmberAirplane had just arrived from L.A. She came a day late, because she was attending the VH1 Big Awards. Amber arrived just in time for dinner. Just what I needed: more food! We went to another of the finest restaurants in town, Kaiser Maximilian. We sat at the chef's table, and were joined by both the guest chef -- Thorsten Probost from Austria --and the local chef, Manuel Nicolas Hernández. As you probably guessed I wasn't even hungry after eating that late lunch, but I couldn't waste food so I took a deep breath and... secretly slid it on to Amber Airplane's plate. Just kidding -- I only did that with the seafood plates. Every course they brought a different wine. After the waiters poured the glass a representative from Napa valley gave us a short explantion about why this particular wine was chosen for this dish. If you go to Vallarta, make sure you eat there too. Kaiser Maximilian, Olas Altas #38 - B Zona Romántica. Open for dinner daily from 6 -11 p.m.; closed Sundays. Tel.: 011 52 (322) 223-0760.

Next morning it was time for more food: breakfast. I couldn't eat much, so I just sipped my guava juice. This was different than you get in Hawaii; it was 100 percent pure and thick. I passed on the scrambled eggs with salmon, and just ate my good looking and tasty fruit plate. After breakfast we went into town to tour some art galleries but because Amber Airplane missed the tour from Juan, this Juan (me) gave her a private tour of her own. What do you think Amber Airplane liked the best? Of course, the pink bridge.

Guess what time it was now? That's right: lunch time. Are you serious?! We went back to the Marina district for a quick tour of the Las Palmas Beach Resort, then had a meal similar to what Governor Vallarta probably ate. There were dishes upon dishes. BTW: The bread was also very good in Vallarta. If you go to this hotel, check out the bridges in the lobby. They are too cool. You might want to bring your suit and energy too, so you can take part in the Mexican aqua-aerobic classes they offer daily in the pool.

I thought we were safe for a few hours because the shopping tour was later in the day, but NO! I saw this guy approaching us on the beach. He was selling clothes and jewelry. I was like, "Are you kidding me? I can't even go to the beach here with Amber Airplane. If I leave her alone for a second she'll buy everything." (Just kidding, Amber Airplane!) Shopping was indeed the next stop on this tour and we went to a bunch of stores. I'm not even going to get into it. You can sign up for Amber Airplane's newsletter and she will tell you all about it in a couple weeks. However, I will give you one quick tip: Don't buy silver on the street. According to our good buddy Juan, it's usually fake. Las Palmas Beach Resort, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico Blvd.; tel.: 52 (322) 226 12 20.

While I waited for Amber Airplane and the others to come out of the shop, I bought a coconut from this man. Unfortunately, it didn't taste too good. I'm not sure if it was his fault, or that I was just so full from lunch. However, I couldn't pass up a fresh-cut coconut for $1.

You can't go to Mexico and not have tequila, can you? I don't drink, so our next stop wasn't my favorite until I found out they also had tacos. BTW: There are tours of tequila (agave) fields in the town of Tequilla. It's a 35-minute flight aboard a private 16-passenger plane. Luckily, we didn't do that tour. Instead we went somewhere a little closer, which just happened to be the best place in Vallarta for tequila tasting. This scene is home to the largest collection of tequilas in the area; they have over 250 types. It cost $25 to sample three different types of the finest tequila (one bottle was $250). You also get some of the tastiest pork tacos ever. Next time I am in Vallarta I will go back for some pork tacos (You can also get shrimp or fish tacos). They cost just $4, which includes rice and beans. La Casa de Tequila, Morelos 589, Puerto Vallarta; tel.: + 52 322 220 00.

The tacos were so good, I had seconds. But I should've listened when Amber Airplane told me not to eat them, because two hours later we were at the Marriott down in the Marina for dinner. This hotel is huge, and we dined outside. All the dinners on this trip were unbelievable but this was my favorite. Guest chef Dennis Gavagan and local chef Fred Ruiz cooked Southwestern food to perfection. They made spinach salad, crab cakes, and lobster tacos for starters. Then came guava sorbet on a sheet of ice over green chartreuse (just to clean the palate). Next was our main entree: honey chipotle grilled chicken breast cilanatro marinated. It was served with poblano mashed potatoes, wild mushroom, flauta polenta, fire roasted corn salsa and cilantro oil. Also on the dish was filet angus grilled served with a poblano creamy sauce, caramelized onions, shoestring sweet potatoes, Yukon mashed potatoes, and red snapper with avocado and pistachio crusted served with black bean sauce. Dessert (warm chocolate Ibarra brownie and Key lime natilla) was amazing. NOW do you believe me when I said we were fed like kings? After dinner everyone's eyes bulged out of their heads, and the manager said, "How about I take you to our private tequilla cellar?" We were like, "Are you SERIOUS?" Those guys know how to dine! Casa Magna Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort, Paseo de la Marina No. 5 Marina Vallarta, C.P. 48354; tel: 52-322-2260000.

We stumbled to the bus. Almost everyone fell asleep for the 30-minute ride back to the hotel, after which we crawled to our rooms and passed out. In the morning I lay in bed comatose. The alarm blared, but I couldn't move. Finally I found the energy to shut it off, put my suit on and grabbed the breakfast coupons. We headed to the buffet at our hotel. I know: How could we eat? But it was my last day down there, I wanted to try our hotel's buffet -- and besides, I can't pass up free food. I ate really light. Mostly I drank my colorful juices (papaya, melon, orange) and stared at my chilaquiles.

Amber Airplane and I had three hours before we had to go to the airport, so we took a walk along the soft sandy beach, then headed onto the rocks to check out the surroundings from afar. The views were amazing, and the water was even better. The temperature was perfect -- probably 80 degrees, and it felt like a bath. I swam, floated and played in the surf for an hour. How I miss Vallarta!

We took a taxi to the airport and arrived two hours before our flight. There were only two people in front of us (kudos to Aeromexico for making the lines so smooth). The airport is nice, especially upstairs. They have some shops, but buy your souvenirs before you get to the airport. I bought my dad a shot glass (he has a collection), and they charged me a whopping $6. I could've gotten it for $3 in town. I also bought a $2 candy bar, but instead of the usual ones I tried Kranky K. Chocolate covered corn flakes... pretty darn good. We took a shuttle bus to the plane, walked up the stairs and flew home. The three-hour flight had some light chop but nothing to too bad. We were on a MD-80 -- not my favorite plane -- but this one was really smooth and looked brand new. We had a tasty chicken meal prepared by Thierry Blouet from Cafe des Artistes. If you fly Aeromexico to Mexico you don't have to bring food, because on every route from the U.S. they serve a meal, no matter how short the flight. Of course, after this trip the last thing I need is food!

Resources For Puerto Vallarta

• Aeromexico
  
• Weather Forecast
  
• Presidente InterContinental Puerto Vallarta Hotel
  
• Frommers.com Puerto Vallarta
  
• Mexico Cell Phones
  
• Cell phone refill card
  
• The Marigalante An exact replica of Columbus's ship the Santa María, built in honor of the 500th anniversary of his voyage to the Americas. It features a daytime "pirate's cruise" ($60 per person), complete with picnic barbecue and treasure hunt, and a sunset dinner cruise ($70 per person) with fireworks and disco dance.
  
• Puerto Vallarta.net

John E. DiScala (aka Johnny Jet), is the founder of www.JohnnyJet.com, the ultimate travel website and weekly newsletter. He logs over 150,000 miles a year, has been featured in over 200 major publications (including Frommers.com, USA Today, Time, Fortune, the New York Times, CNBC and MSNBC), and has recently published his first book: You Are Here Traveling With JohnnyJet.com.