In the 2004 sex comedy EuroTrip, one character cites Frommer's as a reliable source for info about nude beaches, in a scene we can't show you here for reasons summed up in the movie's immortal line, "There are so . . . many . . . penises."
In the interest of upholding our reputation (even though most of the travel advice ascribed to Frommer's in EuroTrip was made up by the screenwriters), we feel a duty to report that a new ranking of the best nude beaches in the world has been released.
The list comes from Pour Moi, a U.K.-based retailer of lingerie and swimwear. You'd think a swimwear company would be invested in encouraging beachgoers to put swimwear on rather than take it off, but Pour Moi has nonetheless found the world's best nude beaches pour toi.
To compile the rankings, researchers analyzed Google review data for "well-known nude beaches in every country around the world (where nude sunbathing is permitted)," taking into account each beach's average review score and its total number of reviews to come up with an index score out of 100 points.
So basically the criteria are 1.) popularity with online reviewers and 2.) the presence of naked people (annual ranker of coastlines Dr. Beach, we hope you're paying attention).
Though nude beaches in Brazil, Mexico, and Southern Europe all made the top 20, the resounding winner, with a score of 97 out of 100, is the nude beach at Haulover Park in Miami (pictured above, from a discreet distance).
According to Pour Moi, reviewers give the popular South Florida spot high marks for its beauty, amenities, and array of visitors "from all walks of life." For nude sunbathers, it doesn't hurt that, as Time Out Miami explains, there are "frequent [security] patrols that weed out any 'creeps.'"
The clothing-optional portion of the 177-acre park is relatively small, but around three quarters of Haulover visitors make their way to the nude area, per official park estimates.
With a score of 76, Brazil's Praia de Tambaba near the northeastern city of João Pessoa placed second on the nude beach ranking. Another Brazilian location, Praia do Abricó in Rio de Janeiro, came in eighth.
(Playa de los Muertos in Andalusia, Spain | Credit: Jorge Botella Molina / Shutterstock)
The country with the most nude beaches in the top 10, however, is Greece, with Santorini's Red Beach placing third, Banana Beach on Skiathos in ninth place, and Paradise Beach on Mykonos in 10th. All of those are in the Greek isles.
A total of 13 of the 20 highest-rated beaches are in Europe, more than any other region.
Other than Miami's Haulover, two more U.S. locations cracked the top 20: San Francisco's Baker Beach at 16 and Florida's Playalinda Beach, along Canaveral National Seashore on the state's east coast, at 20.
(One of San Francisco's famously nonjudgmental residents on Baker Beach | Credit: Kenishirotie / Shutterstock)
The 10 best nude beaches in the world, according to Pour Moi:
- 1. Haulover Park, Miami
- 2. Praia de Tambaba, João Pessoa, Brazil
- 3. Red Beach, Santorini, Greece
- 4. Patara Beach, Patara, Turkey
- 5. Playa de los Muertos, Almería, Spain
- 6. Playa Zipolite, Oaxaca, Mexico
- 7. Es Trenc, Mallorca, Spain
- 8. Praia do Abricó, Rio de Janeiro
- 9. Banana Beach, Skiathos, Greece
- 10. Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece
To see the full ranking of the world's top 50 nude beaches, go to PourMoi.co.uk.
And if you're thinking of going au naturel at one of these places, be sure to give a read to our primer on nude beach etiquette for first-timers.
Fail to heed our advice and we'll have to refer you to yet another line from EuroTrip: "Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen."